I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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