Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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