Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
