I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i now understand why vodka
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
