youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
