We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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