dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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