I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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