hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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