I am in a vortex of obligation.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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