plz talk dirty to me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
