Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
