Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
