Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
