my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize