Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.

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  (773): I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne. http://tfl.nu/lh1l
  Replies (14) Good night (1104) Bad night (1134)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates

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  (201): Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates http://tfl.nu/tqkf
  Replies (7) Good night (537) Bad night (1133)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.

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  (214): It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire. http://tfl.nu/v2n0
  Replies (19) Good night (5390) Bad night (1454)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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  (509): I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have? http://tfl.nu/03l6
  Replies (23) Good night (3167) Bad night (1608)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.

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  (303): He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool. http://tfl.nu/8q12
  Replies (14) Good night (7017) Bad night (1690)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.

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  (417): Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home. http://tfl.nu/79mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2980) Bad night (2811)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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  (701): So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster http://tfl.nu/imtg
  Replies (13) Good night (1018) Bad night (3471)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

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  (419): I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again. http://tfl.nu/gudi
  Replies (16) Good night (2722) Bad night (1544)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.

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  (443): i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig. http://tfl.nu/vo5s
  Replies (7) Good night (2494) Bad night (966)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.

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  (484): He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it. http://tfl.nu/m1ps
  Replies (6) Good night (648) Bad night (1607)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?

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  (410): I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth? http://tfl.nu/108c
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (617)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.

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  (845): Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share. http://tfl.nu/wq4n
  Replies (8) Good night (2178) Bad night (1053)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm

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  (603): 100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm http://tfl.nu/mujv
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (258)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.

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  (859): Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night. http://tfl.nu/d9pf
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (233)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!

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  (612): Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas! http://tfl.nu/ggjg
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (252)

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