he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.