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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!

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• (914): View more from New York

  my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.

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