i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?