If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
