remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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