Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
