i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
