Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
