I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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