i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
