Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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