my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
