I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
