you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
