I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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