she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
