yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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