brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
