omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
