Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
