I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want to be your penis for a week.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
