nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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