i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
