I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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