she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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