Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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