the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.