um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.