So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.