My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize