Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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