That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
