Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
