ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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