hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
