There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
