Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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