You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
