Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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