Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
