Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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