who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
