Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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