There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
