I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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