if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize