He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
