How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
