just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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