Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
