can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize